Getting Around The Publisher

Last year I wanted to publish my eBook of fiction. I put it off because I didn't know enough about the process of what I was getting into. I mean everything, more specifically, about the formatting.

Because when I first went to Amazon's CreateSpace, I was somewhat confused with how to create the contents and the chapters. So last week, I finally decided it was time to get to it and over an exhaustive two-day period I finally got it. From the formatting to converting into a EPUB file.

As of this writing, this is what my stats look like:

Since this blog is about uphill battles, let me tell you a little bit about this one... in a later post. Right now however, I want to give you the details on what I did past the formatting and creating of the file.

Not only did I get around the formatting tools but the publisher too. Because I wanted to find the best way to set up a cart through my blog without coming across as fraudulent or risky, which plays a big part in why people don't buy (my) eBooks.

PayHip

Yeah, these guys are not getting as much attention as they deserve. Look. I didn't already know that they were trustworthy because I take risks that I don't expect others to take. That's kind of the reason why these things are an uphill battle for me, but most of them haven't failed me so much as I failed them. 

But I looked up PayHip because they do real-time payments to your PayPal account while taking 5% from each sale. This is separate from what PayPal takes, which I had to ask about to know what I'd make back. And you know what? It fucking works! 

Basically they provide the platform to track the downloads with a PayPal cart set up on check out. You upload your eBooks with cover image and they provide the button, stuff like that. 

Your Own Marketing

Now, this is the catch but by design it all makes sense. They don't have a library to browse through the selections. But they do have:

• Affiliate Features
• Social Network Features
• Author Invites

Affiliate Features

These are set up to where you can put the email address of a person who will share out your book for you and a percentage of the sales is set by the author to give to that person. 

Social Network Features

Not only through email but obviously the social network thing is set up. You'll be promoting all the time. 

Author Invites

You can also invite an author to the network as it grabs the contact list from all popular email accounts plus through Facebook. 

I've been checking around other social networks and they don't seem to have too much on them. Like a Google+ page is one follower, they have use of one #PayHip tag in the same network. They've only been around for two years but this thing definitely works.

Also Buy My eBook and enjoy some very interesting, illustrated and highly entertaining stories, 99% independent at a low cost. And if you've got some eBooks you'd like to sell, consider these guys! 

The Harsh Reality Of Selling Online

I just started marketing my ebook this week and it's an exhausting process to follow up with people who say one thing and yet do something else entirely. What people won't tell you is that they don't trust something like a service that they have to willingly give a payment to. I could pitch it as much as possible but you practically have to walk them through the process or again, follow up with them and then walk them through the process. Then, you have to assure them that everything went well. It's a frustrating process because it puts the seller in a situation of sharing the anxieties (sometimes deep seeded) of others. It's certainly disheartening, couldn't all of this be easily resolved by just submitting and taking a chance? (Don't You Trust PayPal?)

Buy eBook

I'm Going After The Vindale Survey Company

Wow. Just... fucking... WOW! These guys are about as shitty as a lot of people say they are!

I had an account with them for almost two years now and had been completing surveys but every time it got around to redeeming, the checks would never come or they said that I didn't have any of the correct information on file. All of this crap that came from their side, conflicting information and just everything you could imagine when it comes to trying to get something from them.

So, I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau:

I've been using their service for over a year and every time I've ever received payment from them, there have been issues with delays, the processing of my identification and other problems that caused even more delays. The last thing I did was to redeem the amount owed to me, and on the 31st of October I received a message that my check was on its way but nothing arrived. I was surprised to find that the new email -- I changed on my profile for notification purposes -- I use to log in, would no longer let me, giving me the following error: The membership system returned an invalid response. That error makes me think that I've been purged from the system for some "violation," which might have been the new email change. Which I want to clear up as well as get what is owed to me. On top of this, I did have my facebook account linked to it which I hardly used and I was able to log in with that. That's when I saw that the ticket I had previously opened about the payment problem had been closed with no response, so I added an new entry that reopened the ticket. Then, I went to the chat feature and got a response from a support representative. This support rep said they were going to look into my issue but there was no response. I refreshed my browser and saw the same error message, which meant my facebook had been purged from the system.

It's time to start looking things like this in a different way that's outside of money. Sure, the compensation from them would help, but to simply blow people off and make them go through unnecessary hurdles is something more than just a flub on their part. It's intentional and I'm going to do as much as I possibly can to put a stop to it. Even if it takes getting an attorney to go after them.

My Fight With Uncertainty Continues

I don't remember that anyone ever told me to fight for what I wanted. Because, I don't think I ever knew or made it clear to anyone around me. For me it was enough to just live, be or whatever.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that other than that it's left me unprepared and constantly frustrated from day-to-day. But let me put this together for you.

I don't have time to put together a plan. My daily writing habits usually put me in two modes, 1. at a high cerebral level, trying to come up with something to write about or 2. burnout, where I can't even string two words together to save my life.

This doesn't leave me very much opportunity to write anywhere else. So for the meantime, I'm only writing for one revenue-sharing service where I earn the majority of my income.

This also leaves me with very little choice but to plan out other things that that income can support, assuming there aren't drastic changes. These drastic changes I've written about through the same service, since it seems to immediately benefit those within that specific community.

But it looks like I might have expressed my enjoyment a bit too soon because in another post, I found that my saint-like patience would be tested.

Right now, I'm waiting for some of these redemption payments which are already behind by several days. That's generally not a big deal for me. What is a big deal is not knowing if I'm still going to get the other pending payments before the rules changed when I need them?

I think I might need to explain this a bit more.

These are the dates I redeemed:

[09.21.2014],
[09.25.2014],
[10.03.2014],
[10.09.2014]

The rules are that one month after the redemption date, these payments are processed. So, regarding the first date, I expected to get a deposit notice via email on 10.21.2014.

I understand how things work! If not on that date than maybe two to three days after that. No big deal.

Maybe you're expecting that I'm financially well enough to be so said laid-back, but that's not true at all. I just understand how these things work. I made a commitment to deal with it when I first started; to just be patient.

But here's another very important detail about these redemption payments. The last three dates are at double the payments before them. So, the sums are larger which concerns me a bit more as they're in that pending limbo I mentioned, all during the time that the policy to redeem once a month kicked in with the additional 60 days redemption to deposit date.

All of this is uncertain and even more so if I only rely on this site for income. Besides this very tedious and stressful issue, I don't know that I would be doing myself a service by complaining. Most people get frustrated with even less, and I don't want to be that guy. I am going to stick with it but, I'm also seeing the reality of me returning to those online freelance slave-markets I hate.  

That just makes the fact that money is money more obscene. 

My Writing Warm Up Is Uninspired

I just woke up within the last hour. Not much going on. Trying to get prepared for this coming weekend, specifically Friday for a interview with a musician who's coming into town. The only thing I can think of is prepping up the show I'm going to put him on for my podcast. That might be ready to post on the same day or I'll hold onto it for some other time. Which of the two will be smarter is a hard guess. I want to give an update on some of the things that happened yesterday that gave me a better look at what I have to look forward to. Wow. When you keep your head down and stay focused, so many things can happen to you that you don't realize are until you lookup and see them from a distance.

Dream Tracking And Daily Writing

First thing that happened was having this wild dream, where telling it might get the authorities called on me but it was just a dream, nothing real. I mean if anything, blame the media. But I remembered as much of it as I could and made a mental note after waking up to write it down.

It's been a while since I've written down any of my dreams. I'd already made another mental note to write them down by the bulk as soon as I could. It's one of those things that frustrate me when I don't keep up with them. Especially now that I'm thinking about it, I can't push myself to write them because I have to write other things first like, this post. It's petty but it makes sense to me.

But yesterday morning, or really more like afternoon since I woke up closer to one, I stayed in the living room watching some television until I could move into the room to start writing. My mom was in the room at my desk making phone calls so, I just waited until she was done for me to move right in there and start my day.

Yesterday was probably one of the first few days that I took my time to write something to my best ability. It seems somewhat worthwhile too because my posts got some responses and still frustrated because I didn't completely finish keeping track of all of those things such as putting them on my blogs. It just takes too much time. Now, I'm awake and getting started with my writing day. I also need to follow up on this payment shit because I'm expecting payment for what I've written and so far, I have no idea if it's ever going to happen.

I Forgot What I Was Going To Write About!

I'm going to try something new here. It's something I did before on another blog I post on, where I would post every single post I write every time I would write it. So, that's what I'm gonna do now, starting with this one:

Blank canvas by PixaBay

Let me first tell you why this is appropriate for this blog. Because it's another one of these battles between me and a blank page, what the fuck can I do but sit here and try to muscle through some half-assed ideas to put something on it?

Time isn't on my side when this shit happens and it's extremely frustrating. Even worse is that I knew what I was going to write about only a few seconds before. GodDAMMIT! So it's another obstacle for me to overcome, but again, what the fuck do I do? Well, I try to write about what I was doing in order to jiggle that memory lever. I almost had it. (I Forgot What I Was Going To Write About!)

What's It Like To Be A Writer?

listen to a lot of podcasts about the entertainment business. From time to time, a interview will go to an area where they just sit and dwell on the thought that they're in show business. They want to feel it and they express it well, but only when they lift their head up from what they're doing.

I'm kind of in the same boat with this writing thing. Everyday, I cross over these hurdles in my life and in my writing, and I don't take the time to appreciate that I have hurdles to overcome. Just a few minutes ago, as I was thinking about some of the topics I was writing about, I had that thought. That today, I wouldn't be doing anything more than what I want to do without having to answer to anyone. And it made me super fucking happy.

Neglecting The Keyboard, Creative Business and Revenge

This is close to being a personal post about me and my life. But, it's also about this uphill battle because my attitude has a lot to do with my business. So with that in mind, let me lay it down with what I went through over the past three days.

Long Time No Write!

This image is under License: CC0 Public Domain / FAQ by jarmoluk

I think that most of the time, I really do enjoy writing. I recently got a tablet with a keyboard case that will let me go mobile, only to find that it had the wrong cable that lets me connect the tablet to the keyboard. So, I went out on the town and had my most non-productive three days of just getting shit housed and not writing at all. Even with a tablet, the thumb writing thing was just not going to work for me. So, I lost a lot of writing time, but now I'm slowing getting back to it. Kind of makes me feel like I dropped the ball. 

King Of My Own Late Night Show

"The kings of late-night, Leno and Letterman" is under License Some rights reserved by Jon Seidman 1988

But I didn't drop the ball on the business deals I was cutting, or at least trying to. Because over that three day period, I was brainstorming with some people about creating something new. You know how drunk talk starts getting deep sometimes, and in this case, we were getting deep into the creative aspect of things. So I did feel like I was doing something and now that I got a stage to put shows on, I have to get to work on that quickly and now. So yes, I was off the grid for three days but got back on it as soon as I could and started working out this angle with people I know. We'll definitely see what happens but then again, I want it to happen. So, it has to happen!

My Commitment To The Service Industry

Bartending in Chadron, Nebraska is under License Some rights reserved by Kables

Those places where I've been making my rounds are in my old stomping grounds. So, it only makes sense for me to bring up crap with these people in the service industry. We've got to talk about something, right? So I found some people who were interested, and while I do like to reminisce of  having some part in all of it, I kind of hate the service industry. Like, under my breath cause, maybe I don't own my own bar yet. Eventually, that should happen too, next to the late night show I was just talking about.  Yes, many people just treat it like a job, but I treat it as a way of life. 

Writing For Fun Versus Writing For Work

This PixaBay image is under License: CC0 Public Domain / FAQ

Everyone can do what they want. I do however ask that people consider treating writing like more than just work. Sometimes, I'll read something on Hubpages or the Examiner and see nothing but formula from people who have been doing it like that for years. 

They're not interested in talking, it seems. They just talk like they're talking you down or something. Also, scheduling things are important but don't be all anal about it. If you have a good idea, jot it down when you're not working seems pretty natural to me. But some people just ignore that when they're off. I even wrote more now because I don't treat it like work. 

Also, I ran into a lot of people who were a lot like someone I knew who died this past week. Real pricks. We had new fights, new arguments about me and my character; but I'm just not going to let them win. I was very vocal about my pleasure that this dude passed away. Maybe I'll be more vocal about it today. I do kind of feel like I won on that one. I'll leave you hanging on that until I come back here and write some more. 

Facebook Gives-In, Under Pressure

Bubbles is under License Some rights reserved by pedrosek

So just what the fuck happened a few days ago? The people at the content site Bubblews are still trying to figure that out. According to the C.E.O's latest update, Facebook got such a response from Bubblews supporters that, not only did Facebook bring back the Bubblews page but they also put back all the links they had originally removed.

Here's an example where something gets put back right where it was as if nothing ever happened. That gives me a little bit of hope for better things in the world, but I'm not about ready to pack it in with the negativity yet. The world is still a shitty place and I'm fond of eating so much shit these days that drastic changes to my diet will probably kill me. 

The Content Site Killer Attacks!!!

Sorozatgyilkos fehér cápa is under License Some rights reserved by lwpkommunikacio

Yep. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about some potential set backs with changes to the way social networking services are making things a bit difficult for content sites. Well, there was another mild set back this last week, which is determined by who you ask. It's more of a set back for the content site service than for us writers. (The Truth About Why Bubblews Why Removed By Facebook)

After some extra clicking here and there, I finally found what looked like the reason for why Facebook went after them. It's manageable because I can still get around the problem by going through pinterest or twitter. The only issue is that I can't really set my sites on using the page I created for it, since pinterest and twitter automatically post. I would have to create a new post in tumblr or some other blog and post the link there. (Facebook Considers Bubblews A Spam Distributor)

All of this is disheartening because the powers behind the internet are obviously shifting to push or squash the little guy and everything is going to be bottle-necked so they can monetize traffic they consider relevant or irrelevant and that's scary. But it's happening.

It made me also think about how there's a gap between what the mega social networking services do and the smaller ones do. The other day there was a TedTalk video shown to us at school about how Starkbuck's business model is all about customer service. That's it. It's not about coffee, it's about the customer.

So imagine is that were also the case with this? Imagine that a revenue-sharing service were generous enough to think in terms of more for the people who do the work, like writers, instead of for their stock holders? There's nothing wrong with the little guy but suddenly, content isn't quality to those who make the rules and everyone has to play their game or suffer being left out. (Bubblews Invests In People, Facebook Invests In Algorithm)

But we all have these little digital social bubbles now, where we can start our own Facebook if we want to. It's something I've thought about more and more, because it's times like these I wish there was a better plan than to bend to the will of Facebook, like create my own Facebook. (I Would Create My Own 'Facebook' Site To Help, But I Can't)

If I were in Bubblews' shoes, I would feel like Saverin when Zuckerberg fucks him over in the end. That's pretty much what just happened here. 

Shifting Gears Around Content Site Killer

I didn't have to put off writing the about section for this blog, but for now, I'll just write what I have to say and throw in what this blog is supposed to be about.

This blog is about the difficulty of writing and getting paid for it. More to the point, it's about my uphill battle with making it a success. For now, things seem to have improved. At the same time, there have been drastic changes and me being forced to switch gears, feels like I'm eating shit again, but I'm going to keep trying.

Online Content Services

Alright so here's the deal. In one of the revenue-sharing services I use most, there was a post that said both Hubpages and Squidoo were merging together in the next few weeks. This comes just when I'm starting to get into using either service. The layout is great and the demand for quality posts is very high. What better way to cut my teeth on the thing? I need the discipline along with the money.

Which also brings the Amazon associates program I just rejoined. There's some extra effort that has to be made with the integration of a plug in to get the html for the widget embedded in the text, but otherwise I could just use a hyperlink. It doesn't look as good nor is it a guarantee that it will drive traffic to the area. I'm still very green on this, but taking the time to learn it and use it as much as I can.

Here in the next few days, another service that I use called allvoices is switching to a new layout but also deleting content and yet, another service Yahoo contributor is doing the same during the first week of September. I already knew about these services before I knew about Hubpages and Squidoo. That shit just dropped on me during the last few days. 

If that's not enough, Teckler is a shitty service that hasn't even had activity from it's admins as they seem to have completely abandon it in April. Their twitter account, the site is now only full of spam with every post. The thing is that at all of these sites, I have posts and I haven't made the decision whether to recycle them or not.

Abandon My Posts?

Last year and well into this year, I kept track of my posts in a separate file. I was doing pretty good, but for only one of the services. The other ones I figured I would catch up with later. That's a mistake to go along with another one I make which was to delete the file I had before. 

This is where I'm supposed to just take the time to do what I set myself to do but I don't have that discipline and never got around to it. So, I have too much work in front of me and I kind of feel like there's no point to recovering any of them. At this point it would be stupid for me to try and so I need to just cut my losses and move on. 

Let them disappear. I can improve on them in a different way later. Of course, I still need to find some way to keep track of these things so I'm doing round-up posts for all of them in my many blogs. Let me explain how this is going to work.

As I write throughout the day, each post will go into it's own category which will be:

• writing
• personal
• current events
• ideas

At the very least, this is what I'll have and at the end of every day, I will take each of those posts and link them in a new blog post for their matching sites. For instance, the writing related stuff will come here and I will write a description for each image associated with the hyperlink. It would be my hope to write a post specifically for each link, but that might not be necessary because of the Rebel Mouse site I also have, where every post goes to. 

Because when I create the round-up post, they will be posted to the Rebel Mouse site for viewing. For whatever reason that seems to be the right thing to do and I haven't stopped to really think about it to make sure, but I'm almost certain it's right. Because it's all about sharing to the social networks and directing traffic to the right destinations. 

I have to check the analytics for these things and this is the best way how. It's also because each of these services: wordpress, tumblr, blogger have html coding that will let me embed Amazon code, and I can sure as shit try to push that stuff the best I can.

A Second Chance

Right now Bubblews doesn't let me plug in things like Hubpages and Squidoo did, but I do have a chance to try and do that here because I get it now. It's constantly being said that the content has to be engaging so now that I know that, I'll be more flexible with my posts. I've already started getting into the habit of making that happen and it's a better experience for me as it makes me feel like I'm finally getting some shit done.

Unless blogger, tumblr and wordpress go the way of the dodo, I still have a place to post my content with no problem and keep trying.

Picking up the slack on neglected accounts

"cmw3_d40_dsc_446_cropped-300" is a morgueFile free photo By snowbear

As soon as I wake up, I'm back on this thing called the computer to keep grinding out some more text. I've got a "big" return for another dew-dew to my blog that I let go of a few months ago. Tomorrow, there should be new stories posted so I have to make it back to that point.

But what I want to talk about right now are some of the services I've neglected, which is another reason why I started last night's project The Live Write-Now Experiment where I write for hours and hours straight through until I collapse. Four hours of sleep is a good number since I last remember that it had just been five o'clock on my watch and I woke up close to nine. 

According to one service I use the most, I've already reached my posting limit so I'm forced to move onto the other ones, one of them is not a blog posting service but does pay for reviewing music and I'm about due to listen to some. This service is called slicethepie. It pays the minimum of ten dollars at twice a week. I could use that about now, so it's at the top of my to-do list.

Uh oh, I just had to do a password reset and confirm my email again because it seems that a few things might have changed. The last time I was on here which was already a year ago, they made some changes with playlists, for now it looks the same. 

While that's going on, I thought more about chasing the SEO dragon today. It's already taking me a long time to get everything written, posted and shared and SEO is going to take longer, but I'll try to do it as quickly as possible, which is yet, another reason why I'm going for the experiment so that I can get used to completing those tasks. 

All of this so that I can try a shot at achieving my one goal.

UPDATE 9:50 am: slicethepie Doesn't seem to either have any tracks to review or there's something wrong with my browser. Moving on.

Mark, J. (2014, June 7). The First Saturday Morning Dew-Dew. Thee Incendiary Witchboard. Retrieved August 1, 2014, from https://snakehorse.wordpress.com/2014/06/07/snake-nuts/

Mark, J. (2014, August 1). “Eat Shit or Die Trying: Anger Studies & The Conflict Network”. : [Shared Post] "The Live Write-Now Experiment!" (House of card-board). Retrieved August 1, 2014, from http://angerstudies.blogspot.com/2014/08/shared-post-live-write-now-experiment.html

Mark, J. (2014, July 31). "Internet writing is what I need to do". Bubblews. Retrieved August 1, 2014, from http://www.bubblews.com/news/5125320-internet-writing-is-what-i-need-to-do

Mark, J. (2014, August 1). "Moving write along". Bubblews. Retrieved August 1, 2014, from http://www.bubblews.com/news/5118721-moving-write-along

[Shared Post] "The Live Write-Now Experiment!" (House of card-board)

Jon Mark posted: " Okay. I don't feel like sleeping right now. As a matter of fact, just to piss off the folks at home, I've decided to stay up and try a little experiment. This experiment will have me writing and posting as quickly as I can about anything and everythin" Jon Mark (rotgod@gmail.com) shared a post from Thee Incendiary Witchboard “The Live Write-Now Experiment!” (House of card-board) by Jon Mark Okay. I don't feel like sleeping right now. As a matter of fact, just to piss off the folks at home, I've decided to stay up and try a little experiment. This experiment will have me writing and posting as quickly as I can about anything and everything that's on my mind. Nothing is wasted […] Read more of this post Jon Mark | 2014/08/01 at 2:31 am | Tags: keep writing, productive, stay up, write-now experiment | Categories: writer's block | URL: http://wp.me/p1TXoo-GU Comment    See all comments Change your email settings at Manage Notifications. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://snakehorse.wordpress.com/2014/08/01/the-live-write-now-experiment-house-of-card-board/ Thanks for flying with WordPress.com

Making up for lost time

"Mickey" is a morgueFile free photo By Matias Romero

That clock right there shows, more or less, around the time that I woke up today. That's important because one of the things that people who work from home, set as priority is scheduling themselves. I don't do that. I've tried it once before and it didn't seem to work, or like many things in my work life, I don't commit to them.

Problems clocking in from home - Teckler

But like any problem, we always want a solution. My solution now is to start writing something as soon as I wake up. Right now it's about solving a problem in meeting my goals. The biggest fear a writer has is not having anything to write about, but there is always something there. Right now, I know I've had plenty of ideas brewing in my head that I haven't written yet. Those are going to be written today. 

I might as well start writing those now to smother the guilt I have over waking up so late. I'm talking 1:00pm. That's all.

Mark, J. (2014, May 31). Problems Clocking-in From Home. Share Your World. Retrieved July 31, 2014, from http://www.teckler.com/en/Jmark/Problems-Clocking-in-From-Home-321494

SEO rule breaker

The other day, I wrote a post about giving up on the niche thing. Well. I think I'm going to give up on the SEO rules too, because it's getting in the way of my goal to post the shit out of shit! For instance, the rules about tagging things and providing a minimum of 400 - 500 word text for at least four posts a day is also crazy. I ain't got time for that!?

I'm not black hat here, and I am trying to get more viewers but I'm not going to go through these little hurdles to do that shit. So, I've decided -- using the same attitude expressed in the above mentioned post, I'm going to post whenever the fuck I want... however, the shit I want... period!

The other side to this though is that because in the long run these posts are going to matter, I'm going to have to come back and reference them again and I'll flesh them out when I do that and share them out accordingly.

I hope this doesn't come across as me not giving a shit about my readers because that's not true. I was going to say something else but fuck it, I've made my point.

A shitty multi-tasker

image "Street_Scene" is a morgueFile free photo by Seeman 

I can't just stick to one thing.

It's just part of who I am.

I've built my business around the internet, so I can't do anything without it.

Now, my dumbass is trying to improve my multitasking skills and it's slowing me down.

Maybe I expect too much and am pushing myself past my limits?

My small business includes doing internet surveys.

Not always the best way to earn as it requires a solid internet connection to do it right.

But when it pays, it's still and always extra income.

More than once I neglected the active window to write something else causing them to time out.

So I have to be active all the time.

Yes, it's part of the job.

The point to this is that there is a end of day goal to meet.

You should be able to shut out a lot of things throughout the day.

Yesterday were another bunch of distractions that weren't really under my control.

But what can you do?

Can't beat yourself up.

Got to just roll with it and in this case, write about it.

Have cholera and do a handstand at the same time

image "bucketsopens" is a morgueFile free photo By taliesin, which is commonly seen where there cholera epidemics. Seemed appropriate for the inappropriate title we used for whatever the hell we're talking about.

As a internet writer, I have to find some way to explain what I do a little better than I already do.

That means I have to talk shit about the difficulty of doing this thing, and let out my frustration through blogging.

Internet writers use a variety of services to generate income.

Some revenue-sharing services are better than others and just recently a very popular service called &bubblews upgraded their entire site with a new layout and options.

They've already been talking about this for months and the update happened this week.

This has caused some difficulty for some users, which makes this market harder to manage in the traditional sense.

Like a career.

It just means that I have to work harder and take this thing seriously.

If you're too timid for this stuff, you won't be able to "hang".

What does any of this have to do with the title?

Just my own way of dealing with two difficulties at the same time.

(continue reading)

I'm a bit slow on the draw

I'm stuck with a lot of reading today and very little writing.

That's going to be a problem, because I'm going to have to do a lot more reading before I do any writing at all.

I might be alone on this, where I'm slow to absorb information before coming up with ideas of my own.

That's if I'm trying to go for some non-fiction type of thing.

Otherwise, it's just a unchecked rant.

For instance, I know very little about Unitarians and can only assume, perhaps safely that they're not different than another other denomination I know.

There's not a point there that I can muster up without reading everything there is on Unitarians.

Again, assuming there's anything new for me to learn but I wouldn't venture down that road unless I had a reason to.

The only reasons is to write about something I know little about.

Assuming there's something to know.

If in fact, I find there's nothing new than I'll take a picture of the stack of books or screen shot my e-book inventory to show you the reason why.

Frustrating.

So it's times like this that I just need to start making shit up, just to keep writing.

The internet writer's Hell.

Finally, I got a wild hair up my ass and started kicking out text today.

Right on and good for me!

The only want to do it is to network everything, I don't give two fucks what, just as long as they're connected.

As I've said before on my previous post about niche blogging, I've settled into accepting my approach for internet writing with consistency.

I did get a little spooked earlier though with the realization that I could be pinned down to write just for the internet and never be able to write anything else.

Before I elaborate on that, I want to say that I'm writing on the internet to get that posh writing job at the office or something.

What I mean is that I have other interests I need to be involved with and need to schedule that time, I just don't see that happening.

I sense that there's an opportunity but can't get out from under that fear.

I've smacked myself back into reality to admit that it's too early for me to tell, but it's one of the many of the millions of fears low-rent writers have.

Now that we've Quashed the shit out of that shit, it's time to move on. 

The freelancer's drag

It's like a Scott Joplin piece, the freelancer's drag.*
It's actually more like the drag a freelancer has when they start slacking off.
That's been happening more lately.
But when you're low, there's no way to go but up.
It's perhaps because I'm forcing myself to deal with the fact that I might be a bit overwhelmed.
When this happened in traditional jobs, I likely would freak out because I had to do it, or it was my ass.
Toward the end of my workforce stretch, I stopped giving a shit and so I'm hooked on taking the hit.
I have my process in that I answer to no one and I can't beat myself up over it.
Feels good.

*I meant rag but then, I don't expect that anyone reading this is old enough to know what that is much less Scott Joplin.

Fuck this niche blog bullshit

I did a little better yesterday with my new writing plan, which is basically me writing everything now, posting, fixing and then sharing later.

I have to do that now while I get used to this new process.

I do want to say to at least relate to other writers that I never really have a great idea as to how to write all this stuff, meaning:

Do I have to research something thoroughly and plan out what I'm going to write?

Because everything I write, each piece is for a specific reason, each one and that's the problem.

I kind of have an idea of what it's going to be but if I try to make it exactly what I want it to be and don't let up before I post it, than I will be ignoring many great ideas in the process.

As I was in the shower yesterday, I had to come to accept that I just need to write about anything and everything that's on my mind.

Imagine what a writer does, or what I think they should do everyday; to write.

What does it matter if it's exactly what you want it to be?

For instance, I want(ed) my blog to be kind of a niche thing, but I don't always have the something to write about that will fit that niche, so fuck it.

I just need to do it and sort it all out later.

What a re-fucking-lief!

Preemptive writing satisfaction

"Creation central" License  Some rights reserved by Darkpartment

I know that there is such thing as being satisfied. I bitch and complain a lot about problems with writing which is the reason I started this blog, but sometimes I am happy with my daily writing tasks and meeting my goals.

But last night I felt as if I hadn't done enough to meet my goal this time and have been falling behind on that as a priority. I actually left the computer with the idea that I was going to come back hardcore and meet these goals today (Monday), but I'm doing it without a plan. 

I think the whole point here is to just take what's in my head currently and write it out as best as I possibly can as I post, which is how I do things by default. 

I have tried many other ways but there's always that discomfort of uncertainty if I don't automatically do them that way when I feel I need to meet those goals. 

Which means I have to really be focused and engaged to relieve that stress. 

That's really the answer to everything, isn't it?

Once I go through that experience on a daily basis, I know I'll feel like I've actually done something, after all. 

Even writers need more than a dial-up connection

"patricia-fortes_274793_8713_a" is a morgueFile free photo By Patuska

I know what my problem is. My problem is that I won't tolerate writers with Luddite sensibilities for writing tools. I'm mildly surprised by how many writers there are out there who call themselves writers but won't write anything if it isn't on paper or a typewriter.

They claim that they're purists but they're not so much that they walk around with stone slates and chisels, or paints. Why would I even try to write anything down on paper when I'm going to type it up on the computer anyway? I have a big problem with these people and I refuse to change my mind about it.

It's been an uphill battle with me having a stable connection to the internet for this past year. I'm almost afraid that it's going to be taken away from me soon if I don't bust my ass to try and pay it off right this second. So, I'm taking this opportunity to start writing about it here on this blog where I vent about the challenges of writing.

It isn't as challenging as it used to be, but there are still battles I have to fight because I refuse to go back to a traditional job; meaning to work for anyone else. It's not going to happen.

For a year I've been either tethering, sharing a WiFi signal or maintaining a mobile hotspot to the internet  which all had their limitations such as too expensive to maintain or not strong enough to support some of the services I have to use.

Despite all of that, I've had to find a workaround to keep my daily quota; eventually I'll talk more about that here as I imagine I'll be going through all that shit again so we shall see.