"I'm A Slow-ass Writer" #Writing via @Blogger

Do you ever get that feeling that you're lagging behind your potential? Of course you do! It's what motivates us to do better. To kind of put things in my kind of narrative, I'm going to start with describing how I learned that I was a slow ass writer. Hopefully, this is the last time I lag behind this badly! (I'm A Slow Ass Writer!)

@PayPal Wins Again

In my previous post about my problems with PayPal, I covered the majority of my problem with their service. In this post, I want to further explain how no matter what you do, there is always some technique they use to get out of solving a problem.

In all of my conversations with them, I explained how it was clear they were lying to me. Not because I decided to accuse them of lying but because of a series of statements they made which turns out, they weren't authorized to make after all.

The first few people I spoke to at the My PayPal My Cash service said that they were aware of the problem. As a matter of fact, the person who said this told me that it wasn't anything I did and since it was early in the process of calling this in, I accepted it and moved on.

My final two calls were around five o'clock Monday morning. The first one was back to the My PayPal My Cash people where rather than tell the agent what my problem was, I asked them if they had any known issues on their system. To this, they asked which company I was with before they started to maneuver me over to PayPal.

After this, I explained the issue and learned that they didn't handle the system I had problems with, PayPal did that. Which meant that the first two agents who told me they were aware of the problem and were fixing it were lying to me.

When I was convinced they couldn't do anything, I made my final call to PayPal where I explained the problem and demanded that they escalate.

When they wouldn't I explained to them that all of this could be fixed with an escalation, but they were trained by their supervisors to not escalate calls as I know this is how it works in the call center ranks. Of course, how convenient is it that her system was down so she would not be able to get me to a supervisor?

The other thing that pissed me off was when she settled for telling me that they would have to refer me to My PayPal My Cash service for support. To this, I told her that she wasn't helping the situation by throwing the ball back the other way as this is an ancient technique used to avoid the problem completely.

So I'm forced to go through the same route like everyone else and request a refund which is sent to me in the form of a check. How interesting is it that PayPal can't send money to you, through PayPal and they have to send you a check?

I called these guys back again to get a little agreement on something. This guy I spoke to named Robert  told me that some people don't go far enough to check things out. In the end, we came to the agreement that there was nothing they could do now that I had already started the refund process. 

When PayPal Doesn't Work, It Works For PayPal

Until recently, all the talent I book is paid via PayPal. Like, within a few hours from when the show is done at the end of the night. Because on the surface, there's every indication that the service actually works: They have a number of great apps, customer service is decent and it's worked so far.

Friday night after the show was done, it was as simple as collecting the check with a print out of that night's sales before going to a 24 hour check cashing place close to my apartment and then the local 7-eleven where they sell the reloadable cards. It's a pretty solid routine as I've had problems with other 7-elevens with these cards.

One particular feature I've noticed with these is when you use them, you have to wait the average of thirty minutes before you can start loading funds. With the GreenDot card, when you enter the code and transfer the funds into your own PayPal account, you have to wait twenty minutes before it deposits them. I've only used the GreenDot once and when I saw the PayPal My Cash card as a dollar cheaper and a little closer to the brand, I figured it was a sure deal.

After scratching off the back to reveal the number, I go to the cash card site where I have to log in with my PayPal account and then enter the ten-digit numbers on the back before getting a message from the service that says to enter the digits again in thirty minutes in order to prevent fraud.

Fine. What's thirty minutes?

About thirty minutes later however, a new message pops up that reads "null."

This is somewhere within 3 AM Saturday. What the fuck does null mean to me? It doesn't mean that there's no money on that card because right before it gives that error, it has a little pop-up window that shows the amount that's on the card and gives you the option to load funds or cancel. 

Hours later, I'm still having the problem but with a plan to call PayPal customer support at eight in the morning. 

Here's the thing though. I have a almost frightening understanding of how things work. PayPal provides one service and while the brand name is used with the reload cards, they're not exactly the same company. Each one of them has their own support process and since I couldn't get someone on the phone until hours later, I called support for the My Cash service. 

Now, let's take my ability to understand how things work and apply it to the following: if you don't have a bank account then you don't have security. That's kind of what separates the "haves" from the "have nots." When you cash a check you get charged, sometimes an exhorbant amount and people will pay it. If you want the ability to spend using plastic, you get a debit card and keep it loaded for a price. So why would support be anything but a pain in the ass? 

In that case, why would My PayPal My Cash want to willingly display a support number to make it easy for you to get someone on the phone? Because when a customer calls support, the entire thing is automated and no help at all, which means that most people will hang up in frustration or never purchase those cards again. 

But I'm pretty thorough with my understanding. For instance, if you're calling an automated line that responds by voice, all it takes is background noise that is loud enough to fuck up the menu options. Those are the kinds of details that make me persistant and so with the help of a frustrated PayPal community board and my experience with automated menus, that you have to enter the wrong numbers when you're prompted to enter the ones on the card, to get a live representative on the phone. 

How do I know that they're doing this on purpose? Because they know that most people will give up and so it cuts down the calls, but it also shows that they're overall, not interested in providing anymore than the service they provide, while still collecting the payment. 

I got a guy on the phone who told me that it wasn't anything I did but that there is a problem with the system and it's being worked on. 

As I said, this service has worked every time before so why wouldn't I believe that what they were telling me was true?

I waited to notify the talent that payment was going to be late because for one, it's embarrassing as delayed payment was an issue before with the same artist and again, I figured the problem would be fixed. 

Then, I remembered that it was Easter weekend which makes this whole thing that much worst. 

I actually felt that I could make them do something. I figured, I could call up PayPal and coordinate some conference call with the other service where they could escalate this issue and get it done. Unfortunately however, there's hardly anything on the internet that shows there's a problem. PayPal doesn't acknowledge it and there's no twitter account for this service in particular. 

The guy at PayPal customer service walked me through the same process I had already gone through, which means that they're reading a script and not experienced to know what the problem was. It was basically a long process of holds and hand-offs where we came to the same conclusion, that no one would be doing anything. 

I ended up telling the talent what was going on and tried the system all day Saturday. That night I called the their support again and got someone on the phone, just to tell them that they're not going to do anything until Monday. The woman said they were there working so the problem was being worked on to which I responded with calling them out on their process, a process I've worked within for many years. 

I told her about my callcenter experience where they're the front line who are specifically designed to prevent escalations and drown people with empathy without actually providing the service. 

I told her about her supervisors who would turn them around to make sure no escalations went to them and how the administrators and people who could actually fix this problem could have gotten it fixed already. The only reason they haven't is because they're not there and it's not priority because no one else is complaining about it because they haven't figured out the process as I have. 

So basically, when PayPal works for me it works well. But when it doesn't work for me, then it's actually still working for PayPal.

I made sure to tell her that if I was actually able to deposit the amount on Sunday then I would call back and apologize. Otherwise, I'll be calling back on Monday and tell them I "I told you so!"